Meet the New Boss
by Who really Knows
Summary: Naruto's life sucks, that's the only thing that's absolutely certain in this fic. KINDA CRACKISH? sasunaru


**This is really fucking short! I wrote it because I was bored, in a bit of a writing sluggishly thing, idk what the fuck it's called anymore, and because I just wanted to! Also, I'm toying with a bully plot right now...MWAHAHAHAHA!**

* * *

**Meet the New Boss**

There is a glory in getting older. Your life changes, awkwardness fades, confidence grows, wisdom is gained and all other bullshit aside, happy or sad the point is things change.

For Naruto Uzumaki things hadn't changed much.

The changes in his life consisted of three very basic foundations: setting, time and people. But that didn't mean there wasn't a balance in his life, for every foundation of change there was a foundation of shit that stayed the same: Friends, jerks, and poor income.

Okay, friends were stretch considering he had only one friend, but this is the very basic fundamentals we are focusing on right now, so give him a break. Can't solve an algebra problem without learning how to add right?

Well same thing, so shove it and do some simple addition for a second here.

No promotion + same job since high school= failure.

Failure + no change= loser

Loser is a synonym for Naruto.

What an English literary term had to do with anything Naruto did not know, it would have been easier to put an equal sign in there right? Considering Naruto was reading the words off a poster his co-workers so loving stapled to his cubicle, a reader should take the hint that the term "fucking with someone" fully applies here.

Naruto could not.

To him it was a more pleasant thought that his co-workers were simply not as clever as he would be if he was a jerk with nothing better to do all day. The poster remained plastered to the outside of his cubicle as he downed a thing of cup ramen and fumed. Taking it down was not an option, that was like waving a white flag. Only instead of surrender it would symbolize the essence of "you motherfuckers piss me off, that's an invitation to mess with me more" Naruto had on the inside.

On the outside, he would be perfectly good humored about the poster.

He was no actor, that much was true, but for the few moments he saw each of their stupid faces he managed to pull of something related to happiness, joy and an all around aura of "fuck you, I'm all good".

It was almost revenge.

"Nice poster." Kiba-friend since forever, ex-next door neighbor and new roommate- made himself comfortable on top of Naruto's desk with the end of a sandwich sticking out of his mouth. Luckily, Naruto was fluent in decoding Kiba's muffled speaking.

"Thanks."

"Don't give me that look." Kiba removed the sandwich, examining it closely for the space he would take the next bite, "Just ignore it, they're assholes!"

A co-worker in the cubicle over cleared their throat and Kiba glared a hole through every cubicle wall in their direction. While Naruto was enjoying Kiba's simple vengeance, he didn't want his friend to lose his temper and get fired again. "What are you doing over here?"

Kiba took another bite of his sandwich, still glaring. "We got a new guy today, he's coming in this afternoon and boss wants you to show him around and stuff."

"What?" Mountains of paperwork loomed over Naruto from his office, "No one said anything! I have so much to do! What the hell?!"

"Boss forgot to email you last week, and I forgot to remind him. Sorry Naruto." Kiba worked as a secretary in the front office, a job he never admits to having to anyone else, while Naruto worked as a file clerk here in the back. Currently, he was in the process of converting everything into electronic files instead of very vexing paper ones. "There's another thing."

"What other thing?"

Kiba glanced at Naruto and then back to his sandwich, "He's here for a file clerk position."

"Well, yeah, so?"

"He's...here for your file clerk position..." The words sunk in and Naruto realized that this wasn't even the last straw, this was the fucking clipped off end of the last straw drowning in a bowl of milk and cheerios. "I have rent covered, just look at this as a positive thing. Maybe you'll get a cool job."

Kiba patted him on the back once and took off, leaving Naruto to drown.

Well, there's a fucking change.

* * *

Naruto blinked at his calendar, focusing on all the white space between the squares of dates and months. There was nothing. How had he not noticed that the boss hadn't given him a single deadline lately, or order, or stupid invitation.

He wouldn't need any of that because he wouldn't be here.

This is not where he pictured himself being in high school. Naruto thought for sure that he would get out in the world and show all those degenerate assholes that he wasn't a "never changing fairy loser" and instead where did he end up?

A never changing fairy loser.

Sure, his co-workers didn't know he was a "fairy" without the wings and spoonfuls of homophobic rage. Not even he knew he was gay, not for sure, until two or three years ago when he developed a crush for one of his co-workers.

The same co-worker who made the poster.

Life keeps getting better and better. Maybe Kiba was right, this could be a positive thing. He could become a homeless nomad, wandering the country and seeing sights he never had time to before. He could find another job, this time at a restaurant with people who didn't have to hate him right away.

Will somebody stop that knocking?! It's ruining the whole "fantasizing about the future" thing he had going on. "Naruto." If it was possible to swallow your own tongue, which Naruto was pretty sure it was, he just had a close call with God.

Naruto didn't have to look at who it was standing in the open entryway of his office, he knew just by hearing the distinct deep voice of his school nightmares that it was Sasuke Uchiha (AKA the guy who really started to fuck up his life). Middle school was when it started, Sasuke never liked him much in elementary school, but it was puberty that sent his hate rocket flying. He'd corner Naruto anywhere, say a few mean things, shove his face in a toilet, pull down his pants and call it a day.

Fond school memories.

Sasuke was a bully, like the rest of his co-workers, so why treat him any different? He'd be sugar and spice on the outside while the inside was knee deep in hell fire. "Sorry, I space out!" Naruto faced Sasuke with a smile, "You're the new guy, right?"

The other man stared at Naruto for a moment, before replying. "Yes." How hard was it to say yes? Why did the bastard have to give him this up and down stare like he grew a third eye over the years? Asshole.

"Well, let's start with the lunch area." It was then that Naruto realized something disturbing. In order to reach the break room, he would have to walk right past the lovely poster his co-workers hanged up from him, and in doing so would show Sasuke how much of a loser he still was. Awesome.

"What's this?" Fuck you Sasuke! Naruto turned to face his old bully with a smile brighter than the sunshine, no wait better than that-a smile that was fucking sunshine.

"What's what?" Sasuke rose an eyebrow of confusion, glancing in between the blond and the poster with his lips pressed tightly together.

"Nothing." No comment? Really? Naruto continued to lead the way down the long line of cubicles with Sasuke silently following behind. Change is not a concept Naruto is aware of-already been covered- but Sasuke's behavior reminded him that wasn't true for everyone. Maybe over the years, Sasuke's bad tendencies faded away in an absence of teenage angst.

Or maybe maturity was just helping him hide it better behind that annoying good-looking face.

Naruto wasn't taking any chances, he went for the second option. "So, this is the lunch room! It's nothing special, but it does it's job. Don't eat anything from the fridge, it's nasty. Buy a mini fridge for your office if you really need one."

"Hn." Sasuke eyed the fridge and microwave with a look that plainly stated, "I'm not impressed", only without the words actually coming out of his mouth. This was the Sasuke he remembered, kind of, nice to know not everything changes for everyone else.

"I'll show you to the copy room next, I'm not really sure if you're going to need it but you never know-" what you'll need in this place-that's what Naruto would have said if random asshole co-worker hadn't trampled his tour.

"I heard you're getting fired, about time." Now this was a first, no one had ever, EVER, intervened on one of his touring sessions before. Today was just fucking special wasn't it?

"The only one here that's fired is you." Both Naruto and Nameless Co-worker Number One turned their attention to Sasuke in surprise. Naruto because Sasuke was actually, somewhat sticking up for him though how could a new guy fire someone. And the Nameless Co-worker? He had no clue on that one either.

"B-Boss what are you doing here?!" B-boss? What the-?

"You're fired, leave." Sasuke stared down the co-worker who immediately obeyed, and then, like a complete dumbass, Sasuke simply looked at Naruto and said, "I'm not the new guy, I'm your boss."

Naruto opened and closed his mouth like a gaping fish before licking his lip and bursting out with, " Go fuck yourself."

"Naruto." Naruto could hear Sasuke's shoes stomping after him, the whole office was probably watching by now. Nosey asshats.

"I quit!'

"No you don't!"

Naruto whirled around, glaring into his old enemies eyes, "What are you going to do to stop me huh?"

And then Sasuke kissed him, loud gasps filled the office and girls everywhere cried out in fury. "I became your boss a month ago, Naruto. I should have done this sooner."

"H-Huh?" Was this really happening? Someone please pinch somebody else and let him know!

"I love you. I have since we were kids, I want you to work here, in my office and maybe..." Sasuke swallowed, "marry you?"

Naruto passed out.

Fuck change, it was too fucking exhausting.

**Well, that escalated quickly!**

**Yes, if fucking did, because I wanted it to yay! ONE-SHOT :P**

**alright I'm done, Bye-bye! *runs off to work on fics i need to finish***


End file.
